stop and feel the cold
by the drowsy poet
Summary: He wants so badly to be wrong, but he's Remus - isn't he? - he's Remus and he's right, always so goddamnded right. / RLSB. Remus doesn't feel the cold.


The night air is cool upon his back, but he stays here, immobile, waiting for something he knows won't arrive because it _can't._

And as the minutes tick by, still with no new arrivals, and the pinpricks of stars against the velvet begin to shine ever brighter, he thinks.

He thinks of words scrawled haphazardly onto parchment, of _I'm sorry if you don't_'s, and _the_ _rooftop, Sirius?,_ and _I'm not very good at this, I hope you understand_'s_. _And he thinks of the hastily written _Remus, _and grey eyes that swept over it much too quickly, too quickly to understand at _all_, and he thinks of how he's _right_ and how he should have been rational, because why would he ever listen to _Lily Evans, _for Merlin's sake?

In his imagination Sirius hadn't waited for the rooftop. He had crumpled that _godforsaken_ little note and kissed Remus squarely on the mouth, and he hadn't cared who saw, because he _feels the same_, _Remus_, - and that's what he'd whisper into his mouth - noses bumping and teeth clashing and the whole world looking on.

He wants so badly to be wrong but he's _Remus -_ isn't he? - he's _Remus_ and he's _right_, he's always so _fucking_ _right._

And the thoughts dance around in his head - a stuck record - repeating the inevitable _over_ and _over_ and _over_ and _over_ again.

_Sirius isn't going to **come.**_

_Sirius isn't **gay**_**.**

_Sirius would never like **you**, never like **Remus**_**.**

And he tells himself he stays because the pale semi-darkness on that rooftop throws shadows onto scars. It hides away the pain, shushing it like a child fighting the slumber in which they have no resistence. He is whole here, he tells himself, he is whole and alive and filled with a lifetime of now-useless (though he skips that part) memories.

He tells himself that that is why he stays.

(But he is lying, as a boy of this kind is wont to do.)

And he tells himself that he's wrong, he's _wrong_ just this_ once_. But he's always right, he's _Remus - _isn't he? - he's _Remus_ and he's always so_ fucking right. _

The night air is cool upon his back but he doesn't feel it, because - "_I hope you'd be up here, still_," - and a boy with impossible eyes is climbing out a window. And he doesn't feel it because in the boy's hand is a scrap of parchment, and it isn't Remus', because Remus has forgotten that Sirius is _perfect - _and how is it even possible he ever came close to doubting him? - because look at _this_, look at what he's _written_, you fool -

_Remus,_

_I think you must be mistaken, my dear fellow. Because you are very much good at this type of thing, whereas I, though utterly fantastic at skills of a differing sort, am not. _

_So I'll just tell you this:_

_I feel the same._

_Sirius._

_x x x_

And _no_, he isn't wrong, he was never wrong - he's _Remus _and he's_ right._

(But how can one be right without another?)

And the night air is cool upon their backs but they don't feel it because they're feeling something else altogether, something_ perfect_ and something _right_, and the heat of their bodies is combining and merging until, _oops_ - _what was that?_ - maybe Remus _can_ be wrong, because maybe he's not _Remus_, not anymore, he's _RemusandSirius_ and he's _alive. _

They kiss against the black, and the stars sing, because he's _Remus_ - isn't he? - he's _Remus_ and he's right, he's always so_ perfectly, indubitably, beautifully_ _right. _

The parchment slips out of his fingers and they don't notice.

The outside world is nothing.

* * *

**For ****Sylvia****, because she is perfect. I know it isn't so much requited at the start, dear... but the end is nice, right? I mean they can never be fully happy. They're ****_Wolfstar_****. Also, I understand it isn't very long but I felt like it ended there. So, um, yes. Hope you like it. **

**This is my first entry for the Gift Giving Extravaganza! AND IT'S ON TIME!**

**WIFEY 4 LIFEY SYLVIA**


End file.
